Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Funeral vibes

Comment on this post for a change, whydoncha?

My old china Enda has e-mailed me a list of the top-twenty songs played at funerals as compiled by The Bereavement Register - an outfit that apparently monitors junk mail that has been sent to dead people.

1. Goodbye my lover: James Blunt
2. Angels: Robbie Williams
3. I’ve had the time of my life - Jennifer Warnes & Bill Medley
4. Wind beneath my wings - Bette Midler
5. Pie Jesu - Requiem
6. Candle in the wind - Elton John
7. With or without you - U2
8. Tears from heaven - Eric Clapton
9. Every breath you take - The Police
10. Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers
11. Danny boy - Daniel O’ Donnell
12. Time to say goodbye - Sarah Brightman
13. What a wonderful world - Louis Armstrong
14. Knocking on heavens door - Bob Dylan
15. I don’t want to miss a thing - Areosmith
16. Bright eyes - Simon & Garfunkel
17. Eternal flame - The Bangles
18. I’ll sleep when I am dead - Bon Jovi
19. I want to live for ever - Fame
20. Reach for the stars - S Club 7

Lovely, I think you'll agree. Col speaks for all decent people about the top choice. No 10 will be popular among Forest fans - it's our equivalent of 'You'll Never Walk Alone*' or 'I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles.'

Comments that Enda had from the other people he e-mailed this to:
"at my cremation... Fire by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown"
You get the idea. Use the comments box please with your suggestion. I think I'd be all serious and pick 'The Parting Glass'. It's a great ballad - fantastic words, and a tune that really suits a rasping bass voice - that is sung in Ireland, but it pisses off a certain brand of Irishfolk who will quickly point out that "it's a northern song - and from the wrong part of the north as well..."

Or I'd have the tune 'Banish Misfortune' (hear it here) played for the same reason. And because I like it as well. Or maybe Paul Robeson's 'Joe Hill' or Luke Kelly's take on 'Raglan Road.'

Another old friend, Kevin the Kitten, says that he'd have the Merry Melodies tune 'Thats all Folks' played as his coffin slides into the oven. He'd have a remote control hand waving from under the lid as well.

*Come the revolution, I will arrange for everyone to be lined up and asked the simple question; Which song do you like the most? 'My Way' or 'You'll Never Walk Alone'

While I know Brian (pbuh) loved 'My Way', anyone still living who choses it will be shot straight away. This is because 'You'll Never Walk Alone' should be the national anthem of any new Socialist Republic that deserves yours truly as it's leader. 'My Way' is this great song's antithesis.

5 comments:

Skuds said...

I quite like the idea of "Better off dead" by Elton John (from the Captain Fantastic album)

Other possibilities are Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine (Sing Fat Lady Sing or Suppose You Gave Funeral And Nobody Came or The Life and Sould of the Party Dies) The Clash (Straight to Hell)

But I think it needs to be conditional on the cause of death. Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello would be great after an accidental death.

Having said that... Fuck the Tories by Riot Squad will always go down a storm at any event.

Tim Almond said...

Atmosphere. Either Russ Abbot or Joy Division. I don't mind.

Anonymous said...

"Closing Time" by Lenny Cohen.

Mac said...

I think I'd rather take the bullet than sing "You'll never walk alone"

In fact can I be the leader of the opposition and go with that song by the mafia bloke ?

Anonymous said...

I've always quite fancied the idea of The Birdy Song - just to lighten the occasion.

Enda Mullen

These are my friends replies

I've always wanted Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now by The Smiths - should raise a few laughs on an otherwise tragic occasion (she says, flattering herself).
Maybe I should have Highway to Hell by AC/DC?

Helen Halls

You probably don't need to ask me-it would have to be Blitzkreig Bop @Hey Ho Let's Go', closely followed of course by Keep Right On To The End Of The Road (B'ham City anthem to those not 'in the know').

Dave Fisher

Good Lookin' Woman by Joe Dolan - it would have them dancing in the aisles

Alacoque Doyle

Nothing! I wouldn't have a funeral song. I wouldn't have a funeral, just put me in the ground and get down the pub. I would hate to think (even in death) that valuable drinking time is being waisted my listen to some ******** like Robbie Willybums at MY f**king funeral.

Steve Rainbow

"Enter Sandman" by Metallica! Time it so that the mincing machine is turned on just as they sing "Off to never never land". Once I'm minced, spread me on the fields.

Dave Hughes