Monday, August 21, 2006

Product placement

My three regular visitors will know that I've been a bit elusive due to the fact that I've been on an extended honeymoon in County Mayo. It is a very romantic setting if your definition of 'romantic', like mine, involves pubs full of smelly old farmers drinking pints and chasers while awaiting further orders.

The wedding went splendidly, by the way. Thanks for asking. I know you're not here in the first place to read 'ten top tips for organising a wedding', but I'll give you a few to be going on with:

1. Bloggers make good wedding photographers.
Well, this one - AKA himself - comes highly recommended anyway. I have one complaint though. I don't look as fat-faced in real life as he's made me look. But otherwise, he did a lovely job - and if you have a more libidinous set of lady-guests than the heavy-set Irish crowd that attended my wedding, it seems that he can also add a bit of totty to the proceedings. The fact that he blogs about his approach is good as well - you know what you're getting.

2. Get all whizzy and web two-point-oh when you're picking a band.
Picking a band can be a bit hit-and-miss. But being a standards-compliant type, I checked The Northern Celts out on MySpace before hiring them. They are good on MySpace, but absolutely great live. Particularly for a wedding that has a large Irish contingent on one side, and a crowd who quite like folky music on the other.

So, all of you, go and hire the Northern Celts for YOUR shindig. There's a list of gigs their London gigs on their MySpace page as well.

3. Just act like money doesn't matter.
No matter how hard you try, getting married costs an absolutely obscene amount of money. Take whatever figure you think it will cost and times it by at least four. Especially when the better instincts of a chippy tight-fisted forty-something male are being continually over-ruled. Worrying about it is a waste of time. Just brace yourself for bankruptcy, or at least a large overdraft.

Hung for a sheep as for a lamb, and all that.


Carl Reynolds said...

...and then getting beat by Accrington Stanley. Thought you were getting a bit quiet on the Forest front.

Ivan Pope said...

Congratulations on getting married I guess. My partner has just done the same (my business partner of course, I wouldn't let my partner get married as that would involve me and we've avoided it for over twenty years). I'd like you to write more in a general pubs/farmers/totty/football vein than in your current 'I'm all curmudgeonly and these people are so dumb and why won't they sign our manifesto' sort of manner. Sign your fucking manifesto, I'd rather amputate my own leg with a pickle fork.

Paulie said...

Accrington Stanley.

Accrington Stanley.

Ivan, do you think that Socrates would have someone come on to his blog and tell him what to write?


Well I won't either, cos I'm just like Socrates I am. Your criticism only proves that I'm right.

And you anticipated the announcement of a new NTaH service: Leg Amputations With a Pickle Fork - specially targeted at the ropey old punk market.


More on the totty/farmers/pubs front in the pipeline. Probably a bit of decorous silence about football though....