Here's mine: The automated train station announcement that personally apologises for delays. Something like this:
"Fuckup Great Eastern Trains are sorry to announce that the *click* Nine *click* Fifty *click* One *click* train to *click* Upper Smeggington *click* has been delayed by *click* Nineteen* minutes. I am sorry for any inconvenience that this has caused to your journey." (emphasis mine)
Not 'we' - i.e. Fuckup Great Eastern and all of its employees and it's computer. But 'I'.
The computer is the only one who is sorry. It should be suffixed with 'everyone else who works here doesn't give two fucks how long it takes you to get home' because that's what they mean when they leave a computer to do their dirty work for them.
It would do their reputation more good to simply not make that announcement at all.
British Rail would never have let this happen.