Thursday, September 15, 2005

You’re beautiful! You’re Beautiful!

Regular readers know about my particular talent – that I’m good at recognising the ideology behind any piece of music that’s played to me. It's the reason that I have to keep my identity secret.

It’s a powerful insight, and it confers a heavy responsibility. But if you ever want to know if a tune is any good, just ask me. I know about these things.

Take Phil Collins for instance. Or James Blunt. See what I mean? Blunt went to a posh school and was in The Guards (as Pootergeek points out, he was NOT a squaddie).

What’s more, Blunt’s favourite band is Pink Floyd.

It’s all dropping into place, isn’t it? It’s like that David Yallop book about the death of Pope John Paul I. If you look hard enough, the connections just keep appearing. A crypto-Trot paper called ‘Labour Briefing’ used to have a regular ‘Class Traitor of the Month’ feature. If they were less sectarian, they would have focussed on Class Enemies like Blunt, Collins and the Floyd.

And to prove my point, this morning, the wireless said* that another complete James Blunt, the revolting Jamie Cullum has been sending free copies of his vile new album to the Head Girls of posh schools.

In our new ‘classless society’ these little bitches are the new cool-hunters.

One day, a rain will come. A sweet rain. It will wash them all away…

(*I can find no corroboration of this on t’internet anywhere – even the Today Programme website – obviously they’ve been told to take it down. It wasn't a dream though).


rockmother said...

Someone at work the other day looked horrified that I didn't own the new James Blunt album. Should I? I trust your musical judgement.

Ivan said...

the full gory story - lippy head girls 'n' all. I thought Jamie Cullum WAS a head girl? am I wrong?

Barbara said...

James Blunt? The Argos Jeff Buckley?

Surely ou must be told about th forthcoming covers album by DANIEL O'DONNELL.

There are trailers for it on ITV during This Morning. I implore you to watch them, they are astounding

Paulie said...

Daniel O'Donnell doesn't deserve being mentioned in the same breath as James Blunt or any of the others. DoD has eased the twighlight years for millions of working class Irish women.

I've not heard Jeff Buckley. On his plus side, guitar mags write him up favourably. That's sometimes a good sign. On the minus side, his dad's records are completely unbearable and he did look like he needed a haircut and a bit of a wash.

See? You don't actually have to hear someone's records to reach a provisional judgement on them.

rockmother said...

Aaaggghhh! I've just realised who James Blunt (rhymes with.....) is and what putrid crap he sings. Jesus. Jeff Buckley on the other hand is a proper musician. Where have they all gone?